Security Memetics: You can't get shit done

Security Memetics

Friday, May 5, 2023

You can't get shit done

from here and here (image source)

When security is misaligned it might as well not even be there at all.

by kurt wismer in bathroom, fail, lock, pun

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brute force bsod bubble boy bubbles buffer overflow bug bug bounty bug hunting bukkit bulletproof burger king burglar burner phone bus but it is not this day but that's none of my business butt butt plug button bypass tool cabin cactus cafepress cage calculator camel camera camouflage can injection can you hear me now canada canada's wonderland candied onions candiru candle candy candy corn capital one captain america captain hindsight captain jack sparrow captcha capybara car carpet cartoons cascade case cash app casino castration cat cat in the hat catalytic converter catch phrase catfish catphishing cctv ceiling cat cell mate cell phone cell tower cellebrite cemetery censorship central intelligence agency certificate certified ethical hacker chain chainsaw chair challenge accepted change my mind chariot charlie conspiracy board chastity belt chastity device chatbot cheat chemical weapon chess chicken chief information security officer childish gambino childproof children china chinese chipotle chocolate chrome chuck norris church cia cisco ciso clandestine classified documents clearview clergy clippy cloud clown cobalt strike coca cola cocaine cockroach code codec coffee maker coin coinbase coinhive coinstar combination comic compliance compubody sock computer computerphile conan o'brien condescending wonka condom confession bear conficker confucius confused black girl confused gandalf confused lady confused nick young confused unga bunga congress consent conspiracy conspiracy cat conspiracy keanu conspiracy theory contact list contact tracing contagion contest conti convenience cookies cops copy paste copyright cosmetic surgery cosmos db cosplay costume couch countermeasure court order cover covert covid19 cow crack cracker craig federighi crash crayon cream finance credential stuffing credit card credit card fraud criminal critical infrastructure crocodile crook crying dawson crying kid crying kid with gun cryptkeeper crypto bro cryptocurrency cryptography cryptojacking cryptominer csam cupcake topper cursed cyber advice duck cyber car cyber insurance cyber mercenary cyber-bullying cybercrime cybersecurity cyberwar cyberweapon dad joke dafuq did i just read dafuq picard dance like no one is watching dancing hacker dancing pallbearers daniel radcliffe dark helmet dark pattern darth vader force choke dashcam data anonymization data breach data broker data destruction data minimization data recovery database dating day x dead body reported dead drop deadpool death threat decode decoy deep fake deep nude deep thoughts default password defcon defender defense in depth definition defund the police dell dell dude demolition man demotivational denial of service department of defense despicable me detection deterrent diablo diary dick pics dictionary digital assistant digital license plate dirty disappointed black guy disappointed muhammad sarim akhtar disaster girl disclosure discount disguise disney distracted boyfriend diy dmv dna do not want do you even lift do you trust me? with every cell in my body do you want X? because that's how you get X dog dog ate my homework doge doj domain squatting doom hack door door bell door mat doorknob dota2 double facepalm dox dr evil air quotes dr evil one million dollars dr seuss dragoncon drake drakeposting draw me like one of your french girls dreadlocks dress drm drone drugs dual core duck dudley durex e2ee ear earn it earrings ebay ecb echelon educational malware edward snowden eff egg eicar ekans el arroyo election electronic signature elephant elevator elf on the shelf elliptic curve elmer fudd elon musk email email attachment emergency exit emotet emotion encryption end of life end of passwords end point protection end to end encryption end-to-end english motherfucker do you speak it enigma epic handshake epp equifax escape essay esurv ethereum europe eurovision everyone loses their minds evil plotting raccoon exagrid exchange excited devious girl expanding brain expectation vs reality exploit explosive exposeforums extortion face id face mask face recognition faceapp facebook facebook privacy facepalm facetime fafo fail fake fake antivirus fake sign language guy falconry false positive false sense of privacy false sense of security family tech support faraday cage farm upstate fart fatface fbi fedex feels good fence fight club fileless financial data finger guns fingernail fingerprint fire fire alarm fire extinguisher firewall firmware first amendment first day on the internet kid first world problems fishtech five eyes flash flashback flickr flipflops flipper zero florida florida man flu shot follina forever alone forgery forgot password fork fork bomb forrest gump forta forum foul bachelor frog foul bachelorette frog frankenstein fraud free candy free games free zeroday freedom of speech friends frog ftc ftx funny news funny observation funny photo furnace fuzzing fuzzy gab gambling game show game to uninstall games gangster baby garage garbage garfield gas gas can gas mask gate gdpr geek squad gus geese geico pinocchio geo-blocking george orwell get to the chopper ghillie suit ghost gif gift card scam ginger kitten glasses glue gmail goal cat goanywhere goatse godaddy godzilla vs kong godzilla vs kong vs cheems golden plover chick goldeneye golf gollum gone phishing good girl gina good guy greg good guy hacker google google 11 minutes later google home google maps goose government government agent government agent watching me governmental malware governor gps grand theft auto grandma finds the internet grandmother graph graphics card grenade grim reaper groundhog gru gru's plan grumpy cat guard guinea pig gun guy holding cardboard sign h&r block hac hacker hacker stock photo hacker voice hackerman hackerone hacking hacking team hacktivist hair halloween halloween resurrection hallway hand-me-down handcuff handsome vs ugly squidward hanlon's razor happy star congratulations harassment hard drive harry potter hash hashtag fun hat have you ever hawk he-man gives up headlight heisenberg helen lovejoy helicopter here's johnny here's what i do hidden hide and seek hide the pain harold high heels hint hipster barista hipster kitty history hit or miss hitchhiker hitman hoax hockey hold my beer hollywood home depot home security homeland security honey hong kong hoodie horrifying house guest hospital hot tub hotel hotfix how about no bear how do you do fellow kids how to howard wolowitz huawei huell rolling in money hug hypponen's law hyundai i am once again asking for your support i bet he's thinking about other women i don't believe you i don't want to live on this planet anymore i find your lack of faith disturbing i missed the part where that's my problem i own you i too like to live dangerously i will find you and i will kill you i'm something of a scientist myself i've never met this man in my life ibm icarly ice ice cream ice cube ice rink icon ics identification identity identity theft idiom idiot nerd girl if those kids could read they'd be very upset if video games have taught me anything if you ever feel useless iguana iloveyou imagination spongebob imposter in capitalist america in soviet russia in terms of money incel inception incident incognito india indian villagers infinity war infographic inglip initialization vector input validation inside man insider threat instagram instead of going to therapy insurance insurrection intellectual property internet explorer internet husband internet of shit internet of sick internet of things internet service provider intimate partner intrusion invisible ink ipad iphone iran iris irs is mayonnaise an instrument is this a pigeon ishu isolation israel it crowd roy it's a trap it's the law ivy jack sparrow jack sparrow being chased jack the ripper jacket jackie chan jail james franco laughing japan jargon jason voorhees jaws of life jbs jeff bezos jeff foxworthy jeffrey epstein jello jesushelpme jewelry jewelry store jim browning job joe lycett joey's delayed reaction john oliver john wick joke joke's on you i'm into that shit joseph ducreux juice jacking kanye west karen kat williams wtf keep calm keith alexander kermit kevin hart key key fob keyboard keyboard cat keychain keyless entry keylogger keys keyword kia kid kidnap killer whale kim jung un kinder surprise egg kitboga knife knob kochava komodo dragon konami code koolaid man kowalski noted kwikset ladder lame pun coon langsec cat laptop laptop skin large language model laser lasted longer than the confederacy lastpass laugh the pain away laughing leo laughing men in suits launcher lawyer lazy college senior lcbo leak leash lebanon left exit 12 off ramp lego leonardo dicaprio let that sink in let them fight level 100 library license plate license plate reader light bulb limbo dancer limewire lion liquor store lizard loading cat location data lock lock picking lock picking lawyer lockbox locker locksmith log4j logo logs loki lolcat lolrus lolthreats look at me i'm the captain now lord of the rings lorrie cranor lottery lousy t-shirt lovebug loveletter low profile luggage lulzsec lumberjack lure mac mac flooding machine gun vest macro magic magic 8 ball magnets magstrip mailbox makeup malvertising malware managed security service provider manhunt marie infosec mark zuckerberg marketplace mars mask master password masturbating spider-man masturbation math is math math lady matrix matrix cat matrix morpheus maury lie detector mcafee mcdonalds md5 mean hints meeting meeting owl melon memory menstruation merchandise messenger meta meth not even once mfa michael mcintyre mickey mouse micodus microphone microsoft mike parson military milk mind reading minecraft mirror missile mistletoe mlb mob modern problems require modern solutions moe tossing barney money laundering monitor lizard monsters inc monty python moose morgan stanley morris worm mother motorcycle mouse mouse pad moveit mr bean mr locksmith mr t fool msdt mssp mudge mug mugging mugshot mule mummy muppet show musa mseleku my fbi agent myspace narwhal tusk national security nature navy neighbour nest net noob netflix network cable neural implant neuralink news nft nigerian prince nike ninja no take only throw noise complaint nokia non-fungible token non-overlapping venn diagram noodle nope rope norsk hydro north korea norton antivirus not a X not today novalpina novel coronavirus nra NSA nso nso group nuclear bunker nuclear power plant nuclear weapon nudity null nut button nutella obi wan disturbance obi-wan kenobi oblivious suburban mom obscurity oculus offensive security office office depot ok boomer ok scammer oliver twist please sir olympics omicron one does not simply x one time pad one weird trick onions online class online voting open port open source opium oprah you get a car opsec opt out optical illusion optimus prime oracle organ harvesting scam outsourcing over 9000 overly attached girlfriend overly manly man owasp owl owo p pablo escobar waiting package packet sniffer padlock padme palm print palm reader panopticon pants paper bag head paper craft paranoid parrot parler parody passcode passkey passphrase passport password password hint password manager password on the back of the router password reuse password too long passwordless pat down patch patchwork patent patreon patrick pcap or it didn't happen peanut butter pedobear peephole pegasus penetration testing penguin penguins of madagascar pennywise pepper spray pepperidge farm remembers perfume period permission pharmacy philosoraptor phishing phoebe teaching joey phone phone location data phone number photo physical security pickpocket pickup line scientist pig pigeon piglets pigs in space pikachu pin pine cone pipeline piracy pizza plaid plaintext plant pocket watch poetry pokemon pole police policy politician polycarbonate glass porch pirate porn port out scam portal poster pot dispensary prank prayer predator prediction prevention priceless printer prison privacy privacy controls privacy policy private project dread protected health information protection protestware public public transportation pumpkin pun purell purse push it somewhere else patrick putin putting on clown makeup puzzle pyramid scheme qnap qr code quarantine quote r2d2 rabbit rachel ray racism ragecomic ragnarok raidforums rainbow table ram man ransom ransomware rat razer rcmp reactionwoof read between the lines really high guy rebecca black recycling red team refrigerator remote access trojan replay attack repossession reputation restraint restroom retrowave revenge reverse engineer rfid rhino richard feynman rick astley rick roll ring riot games risk roast me robbers robbery robert downey jr robot rocket launcher roll safe romance scam ron swanson's mental health rooster rootkit rot13 router rsa running away balloon russia s3 bucket sad keanu sad storm trooper safe safe mode safety salmon samsung samuel l jackson samy kamkar sandbox santa sap sarcastically surprised kirk satire satisfied seal sauron sausage say it again dexter say what again scam scam baiting scammer scareware scarf school schrute facts scooby doo mask reveal scooter screen script kiddie script kitty scrotum scumbag scumbag apple scumbag avg antivirus scumbag brain scumbag norton antivirus scumbag steve scumbag zuckerberg sea lion seagull seal search warrant SEC secmeme store secret secret compartment sector secure boot security security awareness security cat security challenge security dinosaur security fashion security guard security hulk security idiot security questions security researcher security tag security tales security theatre see nobody cares seems legit seems private seems secure seesaw self-defense self-driving self-own sentry safe server sex doll sex tape sex toy sexy bill gates sha1 shadyurl shark tank sharks sheep sheltering suburban mom shield shim shirt shit shiv shocked fry shoes shoplift shopping cart shoulder surf show of support shower thought shredder shuriken shut up and take my money side-channel sidewalk sign signal signs silence of the lambs silencer sim swap simon phoenix simplisafe simpsons shitposting single sign-on siri situational awareness skeleton skeletor facts skeptical fry skeptical third world kid sketchy drug dealer skyrim slack slaps roof of car sleep sleeping shaq slide bolt slot machine slowpoke smart alarm smart bed smart bulb smart car smart diaper smart exercise bike smart fridge smart garage door opener smart grill smart gun smart home smart jewelry smart lock smart pants smart plug smart safe smart sex toy smart thermostat smart toaster smart toilet smart tub smart tv smart underwear smart washer smart watch smarter smiling cat smominru sms smuggle snake snake oil snakes on a plane sneak level 100 sniper snorlax snow snow day snowden so that was a fucking lie so you're telling me so you've ruined your life soap on a rope social distancing social engineering social media social security number socially awesome awkward penguin socially awkward awesome penguin socially awkward penguin socks solarwinds soldier some men just want to watch the world burn something's fucky song songs sony sound soup nazi souveillance space force spaceballs spam spear speechless stick guy spider spiderman spidermantripping spike spirit halloween spongebob spongebob clean room spoon spreadshirt spy spying spyware sql injection squidward squirrel ssd ssh stand up comedy star wars stealth steganography stegosaurus stephen peel steps sticker sticky note stock photo stop it patrick you're scaring him stop sign stop trying to make X happen strip search stuff made here stupidity test success kid successful black man sudden clarity clarence suffering from success sufficiently advanced summer camp sunflower superman supply chain suprema surprised koala surprised pikachu surveillance surveillance capitalism surveillanceware suspicious suspicious package swangas swatting sweater symantec t-mobile taco bell taco bell strikes again tactical team take a seat cat tank tarantula task manager tattoo taxes tear gas tech support gandalf tech support scam technologically impaired duck technologically impaired hacker tell me without telling me tencent terminator terrorist tesla test testudo formation texas thanks obama that awkward moment that face when that face you make that feels weird but i'll allow it that would be great that's a paddlin' that's my secret that's not how this works that's the evilest thing i can imagine the big lebowski the count the guardian the most interesting man in the world the office the scroll of truth the secret ingredient is crime the shining theft there is no cloud they still do not realize they told me i could be anything i wanted they're the same picture thief things are getting pretty serious think like an attacker think of the children this is fine thor thor's hammer threat intelligence threat model three tard throw back thursday thumbprint tiger tiger king tiktok TIL tim hortons time ai tin foil hat tinder titanium tls toilet toilet paper toilet paper roller token tom and jerry tom reading the newspaper tombstone tongue print tongue twister tonight show too damn high too good to be true toolbar toolkit toothbrush top 10 lists toronto totally looks like tote bag touchID tough spongebob tracking tradecraft trailer park boys train station training video trampoline transformers translucent transparency reporting trap treasure chest tree trick or treat trike trojan horse troll troll baby troll science trollface truck trump trumpet boy trust trust but verify trustworthy tsa tulio and miguel lying to chief tannabok turnstile turtle tv twitter two buttons tyler the creator uber uk cyber security council umbrella undersea cable underwear unhackable unhelpful high school teacher unpopular opinion puffin unsettled tom untitled goose game update updates ups upskirt urinal uroclub usb usb drive vaccine vacuum valentines day valve vampire van vault venezuela verification verizon veteran videos vietnamese vigenere vigilante virtual machine virus virustotal vision maybe i am vision s vizio vlc voatz vote voting machine vpn vr vulnerability waiting skeleton waldorf wales wallet walmart walrus wannacry war war crime warning wasp watchlist water water bottle we don't do that here we take security and privacy seriously wealth weapon webbing webcam wedding weight weird fact well you're technically not wrong west midland trains whale what could possibly go wrong what gives people feelings of power what idiot called it what is this a center for ants what people think i do what year is it what you think you look like vs what you actually look like whatsapp wheel clamp when your opponent is better than expected where's waldo whisper app whistleblower white hat whitelist who would win whoppercoin why not both wife wifi wig wikileaks wile e. coyote win windows windows defender windows update winnebago winnipeg winrar wiper wireshark wiretap wise master wizard woman yelling at cat woody wordpress working from home world health organization world of warcraft worldcoin worm would you rather wouldn't that make you gay wrench WTF? wwe x x everywhere xbox xiaomi xkcd xp xss y u no yahoo yana peel yarn bombing yo dawg yoda yogurtland you don't say you had one job you have the right to remain silent you keep using that word you know how much i sacrificed you know what really grinds my gears you should feel bad you were the chosen one you wouldn't understand you're breaking my heart you're doing it wrong you're gonna need a bigger boat young michael scott shaking ed trucks hand your scientists were so preoccupied youtube zappos zero day zerologon zombie zoo zooey deschanel zoom zucc zyxel

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