Beg for your rights

from here and here

You shouldn't need to ask permission to have privacy. The very idea is offensive. So of course that's what Facebook is going to spend millions pursuing in court.

Listening to "Experts"

found on Acid Cow

Now I'm not saying you shouldn't seek out expert opinions, but some experts just aren't what they appear to be. Be careful which ones you listen to.

The high cost of getting schooled

from here and here

I hope this school administrator learned her lesson and will listen to warnings in the future.

Purse snatcher are going to have trouble with this one

Watch on YouTube

Now, I'm sure the design of this purse wasn't intended to provide an anti-theft benefit, but I'm also sure the benefit is there. It would probably be easier to snatch the entire person than to try and get just the purse.

Nominative determinism in cybercrime

from here and here

The notorious BreachForums was taken down after a new admin found evidence that law enforcement had breached it following the arrest of the previous admin, and the idea that a site nick-named "Breached" got breached is just too fitting. If you're going to call it Breached, don't be surprised when it gets breached.

The CAPTCHA gotcha

found on Reddit

I have to admit there is something a little bit odd about a machine demanding I prove that I'm human/

Might as well be twirling your moustache

from here and here

Sometimes you really have to wonder what's going through malware writers' minds when they leave clues like that in their malware. I'm not saying this is what gave them away, but it certainly didn't do them any favours.

Your Secrets Are Safe With Me pin

Product Page

This button demonstrates you know the most secure way to keep a secret - by forgetting it. 

They're supposed to prevent cavities, not make them

from here and here

I can only assume that when these two felons were planning their escape from prison they spent a little too much time fantasizing about what the first thing they'd do when they got out was and not enough time planning how to stay out. I like pancakes as much as anyone, but not enough to go back to jail for.

Security that is school-boy approved

found on Dump A Day

I can't help but wonder what purpose this door passcode serves other than making immature people giggle.

Keeping honest people honest

from here (image source)

It's been said that locks merely keep honest people honest, but I disagree. Most people wouldn't have the first clue how to pick, bump, or otherwise bypass a lock. It's not stopping them because they're honest, it's stopping them because they don't know how to overcome it. 

Everyone knows how to go around and obstacle, however. This is what keeping honest people honest really looks like.

Face Rec can get rekt

found on eBaum's World

I think anyone who sees this image captured by a face recognition system (assuming the system can even capture this as a face) is going to assume the system is on the fritz.

Maybe that will get users to stop plugging strange things in

from here and here

I kinda think that if neither malware nor hardware destroying circuitry will stop users from plugging strange USB devices into their computers, explosive charges probably won't stop them either. But I'd certainly love to be proven wrong.

Maybe the real friends were the scammers we met along the way

found on Something To Laugh At

I'd just as soon not hear from anyone if this was the case.

I hear your ads knockin' but they can't come in

from here and here

I wish the interaction really was face to face. I would stare in their eyes to annoy them.

Stab Out The Eyes Of The State phone case

Product Page

It's certainly an interesting message. Here's a free tip, though: Don't carry this while you're actually out doing what it says on the case.

And don't forget to throw away the key

from here and here (image source)

I can't imagine that SPAM would need to be locked up like this (anyone desperate enough to steal SPAM should just be given it), but I could definitely get behind the idea of doing this to the online variety. We'll say "it's for security".

No wonder the government is confused about what a backdoor is

found on Reddit

Up is down, left is right, front is back. I suppose it's all a matter of perspective, and if you come at something from the backdoor often enough you start to think it's the default way in and start calling it the front door.

And the mouse is next

from here and here (image source)

Little does this attack cat know that it's already got the red dot in it's fuzzy little paws. It's right there attached to the gun.

Thank you, I think I will

found on The Chive

I don't know about you but I'm perfectly happy to keep my secrets.

What an unfortunate product name

from here and here

I can't resist a pun, and I suppose some attackers can't either, so keep that in mind when you're naming your products. And if you happen to be a GoAnywhere user, patch it, or your org might be the next place the attackers wind up.

Cyber Security Awareness: Malware & Spear Phishing

Watch on YouTube

Careful where you click and what you plug into your computer. There are all sorts of threats out there.

A digital snow day

from here and here

I imagine if you can still get Internet on your phone, a digital snow day while you wait for 83 patches to be applied to your PC might actually be a good thing. No work and all play. It's almost enough to make me wish I had a phone.

When chocoholics attack

found on Izismile

Normally I think we would all question whether this was a reasonable use of a security measure. Such devices are usually reserved for items that have a high value, but value can be subjective, and candy bars may be much more valuable to someone with a compulsion to eat chocolate. So if that's a real threat model in this store then the security measure makes sense.

Judge not, lest ye be judged

from here and here

Who would have guessed that god-bothering fanatics would become a significant surveillance threat? I guess it's not enough for their sky-daddy to pass judgement on people, they want in on the action too.

It's not even the church, just a bunch of busybodies with deep pockets trying to force the church's hand.

Face Recognition Foiling Pants

Product Page

The Manifesto Collection contains a number of different articles of clothing, such as shirts and sweaters, and while I could certainly see foiling face rec with those by simply pulling the fabric up over your face, I don't think you can hike the pants up that high, so if these work it's not be cheating, it's by actually confusing the AI doing the classification.

The Manifesto Collection is apparently high fashion, however, with prices to match.

Who needs a warrant when you've got a wallet?

from here and here

It's not really a surprise that the FBI tracks people, but it is still worth noting when they admit to having done it and how. I guess I was expecting them to do something more technically sophisticated than simply buying location data from data brokers.

Not that they can do much about it

found on Imgflip

So there's some novel malware afoot that can embed itself into UEFI. What exactly are we expecting ordinary Windows users to do about it? What can they do about it? Not much, honestly. Their best bet is to not run the installer, but the tools at their disposal to help them avoid that are the same tools they use to avoid launching other malware, so they're probably already doing everything they can, short of deploying an application allow-list (and hoping they don't add the malware to the allowed list).

Pre-Owned

from here and here

Not to make you paranoid about buying used computers, but they probably should be shown at least a little extra care - wipe the drives and install a fresh operating system before they're used.

Biometric racism

found on Reddit

How can technology be racist? Well this is a perfect example. The people who made this biometric authentication technology had a racial bias in favour of certain facial features and failed to account for or consider any races that didn't meet their criteria - thus this error message telling someone to open their eyes wider than they naturally would open. It means they can't use the technology as easily (or at all) which means they don't get access to the same level of security that someone from a different race would. 

Don't lower your guard for someone else's bottom line

from here and here

Sites asking you to turn off your adblocker remind me of a certain mayor demanding people take off their masks before they enter stores. I don't know about you but I'm not willing to sacrifice myself or my computer in the name of capitalism. You're just going to have to find a way to make money in spite of my efforts to protect myself.

Phishing Attack

Watch on YouTube

It's not usually viruses, per se, that are in modern phishing attacks. This might be a hold-over from a time when people used the term virus to mean any kind of malicious software. Thankfully people have figured out the proper term for that is must malware.

Too many attack surfaces, not enough hours

from here and here

The idea that you can be secure if you just keep everything up to date ignores how many things need to be kept up to date and how much more difficult it is for some things than others. So when people go around installing malware on routers there's a pretty good chance there won't be anything standing in their way most of the time.

Your data's final destination

found on eBaum's World

You may lose people, but you don't have to lose data. It's clever, but I'm not sure I'd be caught dead using one of these.

Tell me something only the real you would know

from here and here

Well this is disturbing. You increasingly can't trust phone calls from loved ones in financial distress because scammers are mimicking their voices with AI. Imagine having to authenticate your child or grandchild on the worst day of their life.

Privacy Fringe Hat

Product Page

While it's not exactly my style, you should be able to walk right past all sorts of surveillance or biometric cameras without ever being recognized, and if you have the outfit to go with it no one should think anything of it.

Until you start you crime spree.

Monster Lock

from here and here (image source)

Is it harder to pick? Sure, just a 6 pin locks are harder than 5, a (guessing) 20 pin lock will be even harder to pick. Not just because there are so many more pins but also because you're going to need to build custom tools to reach all the way down that keyway. The same is true if you want to rake it or bump it or impression it - off the shelf tools aren't going to be good enough for this lock. Lockpicking Lawyer may have a footlong rake but I doubt anyone else does.

At least they won't be good enough if you're going for non-destructive entry. Standard bolt cutters will still do the trick.

Key size also matters in cybersecurity. Don't want no short, short encryption keys.

This is what passes for camouflage in space?

found in Izismile

I would say camouflage isn't rocket science, but apparently it's even more complicated if they can't figure out how to blend in with the stars.

They are humour impaired

from here and here

I'm surprised people still make this mistake, but you should absolutely not joke with the airport security about bombs or hijacking. You aren't going to like it when they put you in jail. I don't care how funny you think you are, or even how funny you actually are, they won't be laughing.

Protecting your ears from the cries of your victims

found on Imgur

I'm not sure what else he could be protecting his ears from, to be perfectly honest. And even then, he buys up all the land around him for privacy, so it wouldn't just be the ambient cries of his victims off in the distance but rather ones he's actively pursuing, which is kind of a scary thought where this Lord Of The Flies reject is concerned.

We already got a room

from here and here

You might not think animals care about privacy, but these two definitely look like they'd rather you weren't interrupting them. And since they clearly do have a room (they're on the bed, after all) maybe you should just leave them alone and let them do their thing. I'm sure they're old enough in cat years.

Who's The Login

Watch on YouTube

Abbott and Costello for the information security age.

Gives new meaning to the term "auto theft"

from here and here

Of course there are a number of other scenarios one can imagine with autonomous vehicles operating against the wishes of their owners, and a few of them come from the mind of Stephen King. However, given how car thieves have already adopted technological approaches to stealing cars, I have no doubt this will be one of the first ways crooks exploit this new technology.

Privacy can be hard

found on Izismile

Don't get the wrong idea, I mean it can be difficult. It sounds like they already tried to preserve their privacy with curtains but it wasn't quite enough to stop the full body shadow puppet show.