FaceRec Got Rekt

from here and here

You may have rightfully suspected this was the case, but now there's an actual study that finds that face recognition doesn't work so well when you cover your face (and the more you cover the worse it gets), which everyone should be doing right now to protect against the spread of COVID-19. That should really interfere with the use of face recognition in surveillance.

It's not like it would have been private without the camera

found on Funny Junk

I actually tend to think that the people who manage surveillance feeds are exactly the kinds of people who wouldn't ask the deputy to turn the camera off before whipping it out. That kind of job attracts people who get off on seeing things they aren't supposed to see, even if they don't happen to swing that way.

That's the only kind of privacy you'll find there

from here (image source)

Personally, I think I'd rather share my emanations than be trapped in a glass jar with them, but that's just me.

The Nigerian Prince Scam Story

Watch on YouTube

Today I learned that Nigerian Prince scams are older than the Internet itself. That's some interesting historical background on something we all take for granted.

No sinkholes for you

from here and here

As usual the bad guys are adapting to what the good guys are doing. You can't sinkhole a botnet if you can't predict what it's next command and control server address will be.

I don't know what I expected

found on Huge LOL

So where is the delivery guy supposed to hide something that big? And frankly, if he did hide it, how would you know it arrived? Aaaand, unless your husband can't read, I'm pretty sure that door mat is going to tip him off to the need to look for hidden packages. This is no way to keep your packages secret from your hubby - get a post office box if you want that, or ask a trusted friend if you can have things delivered to their home instead of yours.

Backups are looking real good all of a sudden

from here

As a general rule it's not a good idea to pay the ransom that ransomware operators demand because you're funding their criminal enterprise. But sometimes perhaps there's no other way to get the data back, so what other option do you have? Well, it turns out that if the ransomware is attributed to a group that has been sanctioned by the Treasury Department then paying the ransom isn't just undesirable, it's potentially illegal (in theory you may be able to claim you were under duress, but you may still have to go to court to use that defense).

Lock Your F*cking Computer Sticker

Product Page

I'm of two minds on this. On the one hand you can attach this to your own belongings and remind people where ever you go to lock their computers, or on the other hand you could wait until you encounter an unlocked and unattended computer and stick this to that.

The former is probably safer, but I can definitely see the appeal of trying out the latter.

Arrested on catnip related charges

from here and here (image source)

It's the crate for you, crooked kitty.

Apparently this cat is more widely known as Goal Cat. I guess I've been watching too much Black Lives Matter protests. Funny how vastly different the same image can be interpreted by different people.

You better hope he's just a cop

found on Imgur

I don't know about you, but with that pornstache and unhealthy interest drunk and drugged underage kids, the alternative to him being a cop is a lot worse.

Not-so-filthy lucre

from here and here (image source)

I suppose in the age of COVID-19 this might actually be beneficial, but it's not going to hide where the money came from (which is what money laundering is meant to accomplish).

Taking a bite out of crime

found on Imgur 

Based on the actual story it seems likely that the blood was a result of shall we say self-inflicted wounds as the burglar tried to escape through the window they broke on the way in - though I'm sure the dog named Demon helped make that escape more difficult and injury prone.

External threat intelligence

from here and here (image source)

We can't always see threats directly. Sometimes we have to rely on others' ability to see the threats and work indirectly.

Shredding your browser history

Watch on YouTube

There may be times when simply deleting the data isn't good enough. If that's the situation you're in then there are options. Thermite is my favourite but it can be a bit messy and smelly and not really an indoor sort of thing. An industrial shredder like this (which actually seems custom made for hard drives) would be the next best option.

You'll never have to yell "Occupied!"

from here (image source)

If it's good enough for a shower door, why not a toilet stall door, right? It really seems geared more towards showing your your privates than keeping them private.

Different people clean different things

found on Funny Junk

Of course there are also those of us who use incognito mode when we're browsing certain things so that we don't need to clear our browser history.

Bet he wishes it had biomeowtric authentication

from here and here (image source)

Mr. Chonkers here is going to lose some weight if he keeps banking like that, and his forelegs are going to get absolutely ripped.

Trojan Horse Cartoon Poster

Product Page

Peter Norton and John McAfee are real people and I think it's fair to say that the products named after them have missed lots of threats over the years - but maybe not back quite that far.

Nothing in there could be worth it

from here and here (image source)

I wouldn't want to open those doors, or even break in a window. I don't know what's in there and I don't want to find out.

And the fact is, there's almost certainly a cleaner car nearby that would give a thief less grief.

Biometric humiliation

found on Imgur

It's not unbelievable that they would want to scan your face, in fact it's probably common knowledge by now that they do perform facial recognition at some airports. What may not be common knowledge is what the user experience for that sort of technology is like. This person's embarrassment was due merely to lack of familiarity with that sort of technology. I don't know how we avoided the design of using flatbed scanners for face scanning, but thankfully we did.

Technician, pwn thyself

from here

They keep telling defenders that they need to think like attackers, but apparently some attackers need to think more like defenders.

How rude!

found on iFunny

Seemingly in the interests of showing you more relevant ads (so that you're more likely to purchase the advertised product or service) it seems that devices and apps these days are spying on their owners to find out what they're interested in and therefore what they're likely to buy.

The next best thing to a childproof cap

from here and here (image source)

It's unusual for a funny photo on the Internet to have such a well documented backstory.

This was an actual product someone made in response to children stealing their parents' Nutella. I suspect this just teaches the kids to get more creative.

Joe Lycett SHUTS DOWN Email SCAMMERS

Watch on YouTube

This is quite a hilarious assortment of stories about trolling scammers, and apparently this is on TV somewhere? That's amazing to me because not only is it great fun to watch, Joe explains to the audience what kind of scam the scammers are getting up to so it's educational too.

The cartoon camouflage of waifu warfare

from here and here (image source)

When an attacker wants to blend in they'll often try to camouflage themselves, but that camouflage will always be specific to a particular sort of environment, and the moment you take it out of that environment it sticks out like a sore thumb.

Fame isn't all it's cracked up to be

found on Izismile

Much like how being a famous smuggler means you're doing something wrong, being a famous spy is equally counter productive because you're not going to be able to go where you want to go or do what you want to do without people noticing.

It turns out there are a wide variety of other scenarios where being famous also works against you. For example, if you're famous for going after bad guys you better believe they're going to go after you too. If you're famous for having a lot of money you'll also be a target, or if you're famous for having access to something valuable, etc.

All in all, if you want to get things done it's generally better to go unnoticed and blend in than it is to stand out and draw attention to yourself by being famous.

Of course this is only true for people. Companies like Facebook and Google are very famous for spying on users and it doesn't seem to matter.

Why not ditch the phone like they do in the movies?

from here

While they're are products that reputedly do block signals from going to or from your phone, a tin foil phone case isn't it. Heck, even the original tin foil hats are thought to serve more as antennas.

What gets me is where did the idea even come from? That's certainly not a technique known to popular media - in the movies and on TV they just throw the phone away.

I Know Your Password shirt

Product Page

Product Page

Given the sorry state of passwords and people's unwitting tendency to stick to the most popular ones, you can wear this shirt confident in the fact that for a surprising number of people you meet it will probably be true.

Balaclavas are so yesterday

from here and here (image source)

Probably the iconic hacker stock photo look won't be getting an upgrade any time soon, but if it did, I hope this would be in the running because it's just the right amount of ridiculous (which is what makes the current crop of hacker stock photos so laughable).

Free skepticism training

found on Piximus

There are all sorts of things that are too good to be true; from the free cuddle tunnel to the free candy van, to free Nigerian prince money, to free wooden horse statues. Have you noticed the commonality? They're all free. Anything of value being offered for free is usually too good to be true. It's enough to make you second guess anything that's free - and perhaps you should.

Privacy is dirty business

from here and here (image source)

That window will make sure no one gets away with making a mess because no one will want to use that bathroom in the first place. As such it's also going to cut down on water consumption, so it's 'green' too.

Definitely not blending in

found on iFunny

Yeah, that guy's not fooling anyone except maybe other police. We are talking about a profession that selects against high IQs after all.

Wooden't you want one too?

from here and here (image source)

It protects against falls, it floats, it deters theft. Does your case do that much?

Jim Browning: Calling Scammers By Their Real Names

Watch on YouTube

On the one hand we have a wealth of evidence that real-name policies don't make people behave themselves online, and then the other hand we have examples like this where people get spooked by you knowing their real names. The difference, though, is that in this case the knowledge of a bad actor's real name can facilitate meaningful consequences, whereas being a toxic little shit on social media doesn't really have any meaningful consequences so the real names don't matter.

Thankfully there are consequences for being a scammer so that simply calling them by their real names is enough to disrupt their operation all by itself, regardless of whether or not the consequences work out the way they ought to.

Maybe some day they'll unlock password managers of their own

from here

I bet you thought that was going to go in a different direction.

But seriously, the master password is meant to be better than all the passwords stored in the password manager. If it's weaker than the stored passwords then realistically that weakness transfers to the stronger passwords stored inside, because the weak password can be broken and reveal the supposedly stronger passwords.

The stored passwords aren't going to get stronger over time, though. They will never surpass the master..

Clever physical multi-party access control

found on Izismile

It's actually pretty neat that 6 different people with 6 different keys can each open this gate, and if something happens you can tell who's lock was opened. Now, of course I could imagine a fancy single lock that might be able to accomplish the same thing (more or less), but this is extendable to an arbitrarily large number.

The secret is right under your butt

from here and here (image source)

I imagine there's probably a repeating pattern, but it's not immediately obvious to me so it's fun to imagine there's an actual hidden message in there.

I Lost My Privacy And All I Got Was This Lousy Shirt

Product Page

Of course the irony here is that even when you lose your privacy you still don't actually get this lousy shirt. You have to pay for it with money.

Should have called it Leakr because you know what's going to happen

from here

Every social networking site in existence has suffered a data breach. The operators of Parler must be out to lunch if they think their site will be any different or that they can collect that piece of information and actually keep it safe.

Stealing your hypothetical money

found on Imgur

I'm sure you've seen something like this too many times. It's not always a ploy to get your social security number, mind you. Sometimes they want the street you grew up on, or your first pet's name, or some other piece of information that would allow them to pretend to be you and gain access to your accounts or your credit or something else of yours that has value.

It's tricky with politicians

from here and here (source article)

So many of them actually are criminals that it's hard to argue that the technology is wrong, but the key here is that they were misidentified as criminals rather than misclassified as criminals. They are crooks, but not the crooks the tech thinks they are.

How old is your password policy?

found on Jake Likes Onions

Those password requirements are getting a little long in the tooth and should probably be retired.

And as always for cartoon content, check out the creator's site, they have a lot more funny comics there

Did someone use 2Girls1Cup as their password?

from here and here (source article)

Look, I know passwords are a big deal in security, I get it, but that statement, even with the context added:

“Passwords are one of the worst things on the internet,” Mark Risher, Google’s senior director for account security, identity, and abuse told The Verge. Though they’re essential for security and to help people log in to many apps and websites, “they’re one of the primary, if not the primary, ways that people actually end up getting compromised.”

That's  just not right. There is an ocean of malware out there. You can get it just by viewing a page with a malicious ad on it (something someone who works for the largest ad company on Earth should know all too well), or by clicking a link, or through email, or by any number of other means. There are many different kinds of compromise that people face and account compromise is just one small piece of the pie. The apparent lack of perspective in that quote is amazing.

Naveen Richard: Creative WiFi Passwords

Watch on YouTube

Never underestimate the comedic potential of a good WiFi password. I'm thinking of going with "IDONTHAVEWIFI". Think it'll work?

At least no one will mess with the lock

from here (image source)

You really have to wonder what the person who did this thought they were accomplishing. The only thing it seems to actually prevent is the bike falling over, and even for that I'm not so sure.

Manual lock engaged

found on iFunny

I'm glad I don't have to worry about this sort of thing at home. That's why your own bathroom is always the best bathroom. Your confidence in the privacy there is at it's maximum.