The fox is offering to guard the hen house

from here

I never thought I'd see the day when people fought back against tech companies' data grabbing ways in significant numbers. It's just a shame that they picked this time to do it. I'm not saying that they should trust big tech companies, but there are going to be serious (possibly life and death) consequences from choosing now as the moment.

Internet Privacy Prank

Watch on YouTube

I've gotta agree with the interviewees; that is really creepy. I like to think of myself as being a fairly private person but I'm sure if someone scoured my social media feeds they'd be able to find something like this about me too.

The Chastity Bottle Cap

from here and here (image source)

The old ways weren't necessarily all bad, they were just applied in bad ways. Seeing people lock up cars the way you'd lock up a bicycle shows that the same is true even today.

This seems like a much better way to apply the chastity belt mechanism than in an actual chastity belt. I've seen some of the other devices meant to protect your drink and frankly I think this one wins as far as security goes. Just needs a bit of polishing to make it look nicer.

Only authorized users can stay dry

found on Barn-o-rama

I have a feeling there's an app that goes with this where you scan the QR code and through some sort of transaction you get the combination for the umbrella. Seems like an awful lot of trouble just to avoid getting wet.

Patches, I didn't mean the computer needed you

from here and here (image source)

When smart beds become ubiquitous for humans, they'll need patches/Patches too.

Social Distancing shirt

Product Page

Some people already know to keep their distance, some people can read the warning, and some need a good bop on the nose.

No network for you

from here

It seems like with everything that's going on right now, it's an excellent time to introduce this concept, because people will have a more visceral connection with what it means to isolate things.

Privacy? What's that?

found on Dump A Day

Imagine being in the middle of a big shit and hearing some terrible racket outside the door. You can't get up to investigate. You're kind of in the middle of something - and then a head pops through the door.

Pets have no regard for privacy, but then we don't exactly give them privacy, do we?

How to keep out giants

from here (image source)

I don't see any giants around there so I guess it must be working.

The Modern Rogue: Why People Still Fall For Phishing Scams

Watch on YouTube

Lots of great information and strategies discussed in this episode (there are apparently quite a few more about a variety of security topics).

I'd actually never heard of laser phishing before. That didn't used to be a thing. I guess technology has finally advanced far enough for that to work.

Fuckin' slide bolts, how do they work?

from here and here (image source)

When you don't know how security works, not only are you likely to use it wrong, you're likely to install it wrong too.

Bio-mutt-ric authentication

found on Acid Cow

I've heard of smell-o-vision, and even the smell-o-scope, but the smell-o-phone is a new one on me.

How can you hate the kernel driver?

from here

It's amazing to me that, in 2020, video game developers will go to such lengths to fight cheaters that it starts to be reminiscent of malware.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah-dorable

found on Funny Junk

At least this one actually attacks, and those little teeth are sharper than big ones so look out.

That's an odd way to 'protect' it

from here and here (image source)

If a service prevents you from doing anything that might be considered private, do you still have privacy on their service? This is a very tree-falling-in-the-woods sort of approach that Zoom seems to be going for in their attempts to block nudity and/or sexual content from their service.

NSA Monitored Device sticker

Product Page

This seems like a great sticker to put on any of your devices. If the reports are to be believed it would be true no matter what device you placed it on, and why not freak out that would-be thief who was planning on taking your electronics when you weren't looking.

Gotta do what the health authorities say

from here and here (source article)

I mean, of course cybercrime is going to increase when criminals are stuck at home. There aren't many other ways they can rip people off from the comfort of their own homes.

A hallowed disguise for your phone

found on Funoramic

Who knows, maybe he's reading the hymn on his phone. At least it doesn't appear that he's browsing porn.

This bank's security is head and shoulders above the rest

from here and here (image source)

Now this might be a little person instead of a terribly placed ATM, but it doesn't really look that way to me.

That's not very stealthy

found on The Art Of Trolling

Putting your position on Google Earth/Maps kinda defeats the purpose of stealth, but I suppose it could deter people who care about there being some stranger lurking in the brush.

I spy you stealing my 2-ply

from here and here (image source)

Although this image actually predates the current situation, I have no doubt that someone somewhere is doing something like this because of the toilet paper shortage (and they probably won't remove the camera when the shortage is over).

Turtle vs. Cows

Watch on YouTube

That's not how I would have imagined a fight between a turtle and a herd of cows would play out. As tough as the turtle's shell may be, I bet a single cow could crack it and a whole herd could do some major damage if they decided to trample that little moving rock. But I guess they aren't any better at judging risks than we are, and with all that armour the turtle has learned that nothing is in it's threat model, not even even a beast 20x it's size.

Kill-a-bites of data lost

from here and here (image source)

While the article is old news, the image of a shark biting undersea cables apparently recaptured people's imagination on twitter recently so here we are

Deterrents: They're Grrrrrreat!

found on Izismile

Y'know, I don't blame the tigers. I think those masks would keep me away too. They're creepy.

How dumb can a smart lock be?

from here (image source)

Apparently there are all sorts of ways in which a smart lock can be dumb. I think I'll stick with dumb locks for now.

Security Is Incomplete Without U mug

Product Page

Apparently "Security is incomplete without U" is a catch phrase I've never heard of before. It's pretty clever though, and it highlights the fact that people are an integral part of security, no matter how much some might want to wave their hand and ignore the impact people have.

Now they just have to scare people into installing it like normal AV

from here

It's certainly good to hear that Google and Apple are working together on contact tracing, even if there are some problems with their approach.

Kicking your private life to the curb

found on Imgur

People can tell a lot about you by what you throw away. Maybe even more than you'd like them to know.

When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail

from here

I really hope NSO group does not get any contracts to do contact tracing. I don't want to see their human-rights-abuse-facilitating tools get broader adoption than they already have. I realize contact tracing can help, but there's got to be a better way than using those particular tools. Maybe something like what's described in this comic.

On an unrelated note, today I learned that that saying in the title about hammer is actually know as Maslow's Hammer or the Law of the Instrument. Yes, the same Maslow that gave us the hierarchy of needs.

Trying to get a handle on security

found on Izismile

Y'know, I'm pretty sure the car COULD be broken into, just by smashing the window. I think maybe someone doesn't have a very firm grasp on how people break into cars.

No clean getaway for you

from here and here (image source)

I'm not really used to bathrooms where people steal soap. I'm more accustomed to bathrooms where people don't even use soap (unfortunately).

Bye Breach sticker

Product Page

That little HTTPS in the corner is easy to overlook but it can make all the difference when it comes to protecting your data.

Sometimes I use dice to help me find interesting security-themed merchandise, but then there are times when I don't have to. Thanks to @snipeyhead for tweeting about this and other stickers from Kelly Mahoney.

Your pooper is your password on the Internet of Shit

from here (image source)

A smart toilet that can recognize you by looking at your anus ranks high on my list of things I don't need. I don't need smart devices when traditional devices work just fine, I don't need questionable biometrics (are anuses really invariant over time or do certain activities throw the system off?), and I don't need a camera pointed where the sun don't shine and uploading images of my most private region to the cloud.

(Also, who knew you could get in trouble with the mature content police at Imgur over a computer drawn diagram from a research paper?)

One Ring to see them all

found on Acid Cow

Decorating your surveillance-enabled doorbell as the all-seeing eye of Sauron is pretty much the most appropriate signage I've ever seen.

Don't bite the hand that aids you

from here

Aren't state-sponsored hackers supposed to be intelligent? Interfering with the organization trying to help bring an end to the pandemic that's afflicting your country (among many others) doesn't seem like a terribly well thought out plan.

It's almost as if they don't realize it works against their best interests, which makes me seriously question the basic premise that APTs are supposed to be smart.

We're all in rough shape right now. This isn't rocket science. Stay the fuck at home, and leave the helpers alone.

That's one way to add privacy to your Zoom meetings

found on Imgur

Even though he doesn't have Windows, I think the 4th panel demonstrates why he needs those blinds.

Military grade self-own

from here

I can't help but wonder what the captain of that Venezuelan naval vessel was thinking when they attacked a passenger cruise liner. Clearly the armed military vessel was no match for an armoured but otherwise unarmed cruise ship.

Attackers need to be careful they don't bite off more than they can chew.

Not OK Google

found on Izismile

If being constantly spied on by devices and services is the price you pay for more relevant ads, the price is too high because I still won't buy.

From lockdown to lock up

from here

Threatening a cop with an invisible bio-hazard is incredibly dumb, but it's a threat anyone can make and it doesn't have to be against cops. Not only is it a bio-hazard that anyone can get their hands on, you don't even have to prove you have, just make people think you have it or might have it. No one wants to take that risk.

Password: The Game Show

Watch on YouTube

I don't think I've ever seen this before and now I feel like I've been missing out. They've taken the idea of guessing people's passwords based on their password hints (which often are just a word) and gamified it. I gather this is a bit from The Tonight Show that they occasionally do with the guests.

Cheap, Fast, or Secure... Pick Two

from here

So it appears that Zoom's "end-to-end" encryption only counts as end-to-end if you consider Zoom's servers themselves to be one of the ends. Specifically, according to their own blog, they have software running on their servers acting like legitimate communication endpoints so that they can send the unencrypted data to devices that don't support their end-to-end encryption. It's a backdoor dressed up as a compatibility feature. We have to take them at their word that this backdoor will never be used by misbehaving employees and that various governments will never or can never compel them to use it to reveal our communications.

They could have (and arguably should have) simply told customers they can't use the end-to-end encryption feature when participants are using devices that don't support it, but they chose to compromise the communication channel instead so that users could maintain a (now false) sense of security.

That's not suspicious at all

found on Izismile

Somehow I think that bag is going to get checked a lot by security personnel. Watch the drugs be in the neck pillow.

The evolution of excuses

from here and here

If modern problems require modern solutions, then it stands to reason that modern solutions have modern problems.

How to stop blind porch pirates

found on Izismile

A person would have to be blind to not see those packages. Hiding things under the mat doesn't work so well when they're bigger than the mat.