The Teddy Bear's Ransom

In light of the news about a breach of connected teddy bears, I thought a song parody was in order

If you connect a kids toy today
You're in for a big surprise
If you connect a kids toy today
You'll never believe your eyes

For teddy bears recording gagas
Have dumped their loads for certain
Because their maker didn't
Believe in authentication

Hackers stole your voice data
Those little teddy bears gave all of your messages away
Watch them upload unaware
As attackers have a big field day

See your words get ransomed out
And if you ever doubt
That nobody even cared
The makers couldn't be reached to warn them
About the data breach
Of your child's little teddy bear

Every teddy bear that's online
Is some kind of threat today
There's lots of marvelous bits to steal
And somebody always pays

Beneath the fur where nobody sees
A computer uploads to IPs
'Cause that's the way
Connected toys do their business

Hackers stole your voice data
Those little teddy bears gave all of your messages away
Watch them upload unaware
As their makers buy bitcoins to pay

See your words get ransomed out
And if you ever doubt
That nobody even cared
The makers couldn't be reached to warn them
About the data breach
Of your child's little teddy bear

Just in case you don't recognize the tune this is supposed to be a parody of, here's the original:



I wish I had a way to actually record the parody itself, but I haven't yet developed that capability.