he is the very model of an infosec professional

i shall of course link back to the network security blog where i found this, but gems like this require redundancy (plus some minor email obfuscation):

CISSP Song
Lyrics by Rob Slade (slade at victoria dot tc dot ca)
Sung to the tune of “The Major General’s Song,” from
“Pirates of Penzance,” by Gilbert and Sullivan [1]
CISSP (solo):
I am a Certifiable Security Professional
I’ve countermeasures physical, administrative, technical
I know the ports of TCP and backdoors with malign intent
And survey risk analysis to prove the safeguards wisely spent
I’m very well acquainted, too, with matters of the blackhat crew
Attendance on the IRC phrack channel makes my colleagues stew
With viruses and zero days I’m teeming with a lot o’ news,
With many cheerful facts about the weaknesses in Usenet news
CIO Chorus:
With many cheerful facts about the weaknesses in Usenet news (etc.)
CISSP:
I’m very good at ACLs and mandatory access modes
I know the disassembled names of CPU compare opcodes
In short, in matters physical, administrative, technical
I am the very model of an infosec professional!
Chorus:
In short, in matters physical, administrative, technical
He is the very model of an infosec professional!
CISSP:
I know our mythic history, LaPadula, Biba, and Bell
I know the biometric facts, memorized CERs as well
I understand the lattice, roles, rules, and discretion base
And pseudorandomize my keys to maximize the address space
I’ve tokens, tickets, one-time passwords, smart cards and a kerberos
And Centralized Remote Authentication to remove the dross
I’m proof against the DoS, Man-in-the-Middle and brute force attacks
My proprietary off-the-shelf stuff’s licenced and it never cracks.
Chorus:
His proprietary off-the-shelf’s all licenced and it never cracks.
CISSP:
My audit logs are analysed, detect intrusions evey time
My legal counsel’s up to date with all the best computer crime
In short, in matters physical, administrative, technical
I am the very model of an infosec professional!
Chorus:
In short, in matters physical, administrative, technical
He is the very model of an infosec professional!
CISSP:
In fact when I know what is meant by “data link” and “twisted pair”
When I can tell a fibre optic cable from a trigger hair
When Internet Explorer I no longer use the Web to surf
Or let my users chat on IRC on all my network turf
When I have learnt that firewalls can filter out the packets bad
When I know that the guy with foreign bank accounts might be a cad
In short when I’ve a wee bit of professional paranoia
You’ll say a better CISSP has never addressed yuh.
Chorus:
You’ll say a better CISSP has never addressed yuh.
CISSP:
For my security training, managerial though it may be
Lacks practical direction and real-world applicability
But still, in matters physical, administrative, technical
I am the very model of an infosec professional!
Chorus:
But still, in matters physical, administrative, technical
He is the very model of an infosec professional!

like martin mckeay, i'd really like to hear this sung. i'm trying it myself, but it's a bit of a mouthful at times. sometimes it's easier to write things than to say them out loud.